I said “I miss my dad” on Father’s Day, Rose sitting with me at Mama’s in Oakland having our late breakfast. She was almost seven.
“He is always with you,” she said.
Sitting in my apartment in San Francisco in Bernal Heights feeling the fallout from a breakup. My father was sober for a long time and I was sober for about two years until the summer of 1989. I was living in a small apartment in Kent, Ohio, I was struggling, this was the summer of the big earthquake in San Francisco. I had a big black and white…
As I seek an agent for my finished memoir, the second part, which is different, and which is going to be more experimental, is about 300 pages or 90K words and so I revise. This is what I have for the first 20 pages or so so far. It’s rough, for sure, but it’s good to work on something newish. To revise and feel like I can experiment. But try to make it good too.
My daughter is playing Roblox, resisting bed. But it’s early she can stall a few more minutes.
Chapter one — the Castle
Now that I…
It took me a few years, really over ten years, to write and finish editing my first novel, Blue, which I finished in my thirties. I had started in in London when I was maybe 20, while I was reading the Iliad, and Ulysses, etc. I ended up writing many fragments and starts, shorts, and while I was drinking etc. I was not really able to finish much, but eventually I decided to stitch the fragments together for Blue.
My second novel emerged as a simple story, after my friend Ann died, and I went back and revised it so…
The Present Moment
Is being in the present moment enlightenment, or does it lead to enlightenment, if you’ve done the work, study, meditation? To be aware that this is it, this moment, that is all there is. Sitting here on the couch, typing while my daughter does her homework. Of course to be aware also that this is a privilege, to be in a safe place, free of sickness, war, all the comforts of privilege. …
My daughter is nine, she just pulled up some crazy good jazz to listen to while she works on her morning writing journal before class. One of the benefits of remote learning — she also wants to be able to listen to her own garageband compositions while she writes. This is what happens when you love kids and encourage music, art, writing. I have been exposing her to classical and rock and punk music but I think her teacher got her more into jazz.
I write these days in quiet or listening to ocean sounds. I used to like the…
better, or easier, than yesterday. Yesterday was rough. Today my daughter is back, now she is playing roblox with her bff online. I’m listening to new order, it’s james klein’s and yoko ono’s birthdays! looking at her instagram, really glad I did. So much focus on peace, she never will let go of that. and if only everyone had that focus.
I worked a lot today, at my sales thing. drove around, doing stuff, got a mocha at peets and food from baja. worked on my website and blog a bit. a very productive day, a little sore from running…
mcdonalds in paradise
she was young. so was I, just less young. she was 19 or so.
She worked at a McDonalds in Nice or nearby, how did I meet her?
I was there with Simon, I was escaping myself, for a while.
and she took me up the hill on the back of her scooter and later that day
Simon and I hitchhiked to Cannes and drank a lot of Tequila.
we hitchhiked back, I picked up cigarette butts by the road.
a nice couple drove us back to Villeneuve-Loubet and I wandered all over
the estate looking for…
Essays, poetry, and prose. Published novelist, working on memoir/ novel, art, and other things.