my 8 yr old daughter is listening to a dragon story on audible
it’s not too bad but not good, this period of relative isolation
in my privileged life taken down a notch. but
in my childhood I was in a kind of
emotional quarantine: after 1st grade we moved and my mother
became isolated, paranoid, drunk…I was not allowed much contact
with other kids, friends. after the neighbor drowned in the pond,
after I pointed a shotgun at my mother, it was like I was in stasis,
reading, walking the dog, alone
and it did not change until I was older, could ride my silver schwinn
ten speed anywhere the fuck I wanted to and there was nothing she
my father secretly understood I think, in his overworked life.
my daughter has it different, now, no school but some homeschool and the
happy content solitude and independence she is ok with but I don’t know. march 2020. a virus bigger than anything we have seen for a long time.
I don’t know what a needs, this young being her whole life her whole long life almost 8 years and she now wants to have a zoom birthday party.
that sounds cool
I am only doing what I think is best and that’s a lot. I suppose. I remember in my first school realizing it felt so bad to realize
other boys had fathers that did things with them. indian guides. I lied and
said he and I did that too. but he took me hunting eventually. 20 gauge, 12 gauge. I have stories but not so many. the super 8 films were bigger than
my memories which were like these little shards of objects, strange bowls that
the archaeologist finds but she is poised on the brink of her biggest
nervous breakdown, age 19 or so in a dig in Egypt where they find the locusts in her brain.